Even after nearly two years of closures on and off, going to a club is still a revelation. There’s a sweaty joy in the air which wasn’t there in simpler times in 2019. What if you’re not as dedicated to the music as your friends are? Consider the advantages of a solo night out before you dismiss the idea. You won’t be dragged to endless smoking breaks. You won’t lose people in line. Drink runs can spiral the cost of an evening out out of control. The night will end when you want it, not when your friend is kicked out because he did lines on the toilet.
I’m a solo clubber who knows what to do. My first night was spent in Montpellier, France with my father while we were on vacation. He’s one of the best dancers I know but we have different music tastes and can’t even agree on a playlist for the car, let alone French electro. The freedom of dancing with strangers was unlike anything I had experienced before. I would never give up the joy of dancing with my best friends, but I was able to enjoy the night at my own pace. If this is starting to sound like something you’d enjoy, I asked seasoned clubbers for their tips on going out alone.
You can make new friends and then ditch them whenever you want.
You never know who you will meet on a night out alone. In my short time in Montpellier I spoke with over 20 people, but what I liked most was being able to move from one group to another. Remember to enjoy the company of new friends, but also remember that you can leave the party at any time if the conversation becomes boring or you want to change dance floors.
Sean O’Connor is a 29-year-old events manager who has been partying alone since 2011. The experience of going alone to a nightclub has helped him make new friends. He explains that he is a introverted individual and these experiences have helped him to overcome anxiety in social situations.
Dan Funke (20) has been clubbing on his own four times. But for him, “partying alone doesn’t mean that you are partying alone”. Making new friends is much easier than you think. “Everyone is nice and communicative, and eventually you will find someone to spend an evening with.”
You can fake it until you make it when you go out alone
In the tram, a few hours prior to my night out, I saw three women in heels with glitter-drenched facial hair. They invited me to a drag show after I told them my plans to go out alone. Pre-drink location: sorted.
Fake your confidence. It can be intimidating to ask a question to a group of people. But in reality, as long as you are not sexually aggressive or pushy, most people would be flattered if they were asked a simple question or told that their outfit was cute.
Listen to your favourite playlist for a confidence boost on the way to the venue. You’ll feel more confident, even if on the inside you are a bundle.
If you’re going clubbing alone, make sure to have some cash in your pocket.
I always carry cash, gum, bank cards, and lip balm in my night-out bag. You might be able to get a cigarette from a stranger, but it will be harder to find someone who can help you if your phone battery is dead and you need PS20 in order for you to take a taxi back home. Bring everything you need with you, including your phone fully charged. If you are on vacation, make sure to write down your accommodation’s address on paper in case your mobile phone dies.
Reframe your thinking and do your research
Yazan Saleh, a 22-year old DJ has been clubbing alone over 50 times. “You are the pilot of your experience and night,” he says. Yazan recommends that you plan your trip before diving into the unknown. “Do some research on the artists, lineup and venue to become familiar with the environment before you go there.”
We often mistake clubbing for a social event, and miss the flexibility of being able to follow your own instincts. Yazan compares clubbing alone to exploring a new city on your own – but for me it’s like going to a restaurant, gallery or workout class by yourself. Think of clubbing like a hobby you can do on your terms. You might feel more motivated to try it.
Number one is the most important thing to watch out for on your night alone
During the first two hours of my night out alone, I found it difficult to find a place. Each spot I chose, a man was dancing too close. Later, I danced with people I had been chatting with and felt less like an obvious target. But the harassment reminded me to prioritize my safety.
Every person I spoke to emphasized this advice. Dan advises that you should always put your safety before anything else, especially if you’re a woman or transgender – I am both. Let your friends know exactly where you are. Send your location. “Don’t drink alcohol and don’t use drugs with people you don’t know.”
Sean reminded me of the UK scheme Request Angela. “If you are unable to leave someone who gives you bad vibes or makes you uncomfortable, you can ask for Angela in the bar or the cloakroom. The staff will interpret this as you need assistance.”
Even at the best times, going out alone without friends can feel uncomfortable. If you’re comfortable enough to go out alone, you have endless possibilities. Prepare as much as possible, and then embrace the unknown. You could have the best night ever.
